It’s been one month since the funeral, everyone else has settled down into their lives without her except for me and my children. Ifeoluwa does not really know the difference, all she wants to do is eat and go sleep. Pelumi won’t stop asking me questions about heaven and when her mummy gets back from her trip.
I have gone back to work and have hired a Nanny to take care of the kids till I get back from work.I have settled into playing both roles for my babies and I’m determined to prove to myself that regardless of all the hurdles I might encounter, I am a good parent.
It’s been hard,really hard especially for my baby.This is when she would have bonded with her mum. She gets love from me but i know its not enough but i’m giving my all to caring for my kids.
My productivity at work has reduced.My team mates, bosses and subordinates sympathize with me and seem to understand that i m going through a rough patch,but i know i need to do better. So, i’m gliding through and trying to live my best life in honor of my bestie and to give my Children a solace.
Being a parent makes it really difficult for you to even have a moment to grieve but i find my time,to grieve,cry and still be there for my children.
Everyone associates masculinity to strength and inability to show emotions. i don’t know about the general school of thought,but i’m macular enough to ask for help when i need it and to breakdown and mourn and still be strong for all those leaning on me.
My name is Kayode Ajibade, i lost the love of my life,i’m grieving and finding my way through life.I have decided that this loss will not define my strength and my masculinity. i will not stick to stereotypes nor will i let society tell when to move on ,remarry, or even live my life.
As sudden and shocking as this death was, i won’t let it be my end.
I know society has a way of boxing men in to masculinity corner where they are not allowed to express emotions. This story is dedicated to as many as are in such corner,expressing emotions of hurt does not make you less of a man.
Loosing a person you love is a hard knock and you are expected to express your grief,regardless refuse to be defined by the circumstances and emotions.Do all you can to rise after you have given yourself the time to heal properly.
If you need to talk to me or you know someone who needs to, the number is 08099998430. I’m seriously rooting for you and hoping you come out of this and actually enjoy your life.
Always remember that I’m here for you.