The human nature has some in built protective tendencies. We are always careful so we don’t get hurt. We don’t want to feel the gut-wrenching pain that comes with being disappointed or betrayed by someone one we love.

We are always careful so we don’t get hurt. We don’t want to feel the gut-wrenching pain that comes with being disappointed or betrayed by someone one we love.

So we build these high walls and hide behind them, missing out on life and all the beautiful things it’s supposed to bring us.

Most of the people you term rude and unfriendly are not really any of the above.These people are just hiding behind rude and unfriendly walls they have erected to protect their fragility.

No one wants to get hurt.

I have met people like this on several occasions.

Sometimes I see beyond their facades, other times I don’t.I have missed out on several opportunities of rolling with fantastic people because of the presence of these walls on both sides.

Some years ago, I met this lady through a friend. She was so hostile, rude and unpleasant. On one occasion, our mutual friend had asked me to collect something from her and her reaction to me was terrible (for lack of a better word to actually express what happened that day).

Over time, I began to avoid her, after all, she was just an acquaintance. It’s not like we were joined at the hip even though we had other mutual friends.

After a long time, our mutual friend travelled out of the country and we had no other choice than bond after all, who doesn’t need someone to lean on?
It took her some time to trust me enough to undress with me.

I flinched when I saw the scars, the not so healed scars, the healing wounds, the fresh and not so fresh wounds, the sprains, and the trails of recovery. This lady had been through a lot and was still going through a whole lot.

Don’t be locked up like Rapunzel

I understood why she was secluded, why she was afraid, why she had these walls of Jericho, why she was unhappy that I was sharing our friend’s attention with her. She just didn’t want anyone to know about the indelible treasures she had amassed through difficult experiences.

There are lots of individuals around you like this lady. They build walls as fortified as the walls of Troy around themselves, in a bid to self protect. They are too ashamed to let you see the scars they wield. Most times you assume that they are “forming” and you let them be when you should press in till you are able to help.

Other times, you are the culprit, shutting others out, hiding in your skin, with absolutely no one to talk to even though you are surrounded by human pillars.

Stop with the fortified walls.

Whatever category you fit in, PLEASE don’t be that person.

Reach out,

Give people the benefit of the doubt,

Tear down your walls and be human.

Chances are the next person is also trying to do all that.

Meanwhile, look before you leap, you don’t want to be the topic of discussion at the next village meeting.

I’m just saying.

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Uju is a writer, freelance blogger and content developer. She is passionate about helping you become the best you can be. She also loves to write, sing, hang out and meditate. If you need to talk or know someone who needs a listening ear, have them reach out to me on I am also open to content development and freelance writing opputunities. Join me on Facebook at Nwokedi Chinny Uju.


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