It’s a long read but …
Growing up, I suffered from inferiority complex. Everyone and anyone was better than me. In my opinion, I wasn’t intelligent so I didn’t raise up my hand to talk in class because I didn’t want to embarrass my self.
Sometimes, someone else will say exactly what I wanted to say and our teacher will ask all of us to clap for him. Immediately this happens, I will begin to regret my action, and feel sorry for my self. This will result to bitterness and terrible mood swings. This was a continuous cycle.
Because of this complex issue, I’d spend more time alone. My excuse usually was, I don’t want to impose on anyone. Of course my tiny brain didn’t really understand those words then, now I know I was only afraid of rejection.
Eventually, I will be sad and depressed and in turn boring so you wouldn’t even want to hang out with me.
This continued for a long time until I eventually found solace in reading. I began to spend more time in the library, and cultivated a reading habit. As I got older, my love for books translated to historical romance, silhouette, mills and boons, Daniels steel, Nora Roberts amongst a host of other authors.
I had fall outs with my dad on several occasions because he was worried about the fact that I began to loose interest in human contact and relationship. I was always in a world of my own, doing my own thing.
I look back at how much I have grown and evolved, I can’t but thank God for Jesus.
Yes, I grew up in a Godly home
but when I met JESUS, my life changed. Today I have become the life of the party, the comedian, the lively Chinny who will voice her opinion in the presence of 6 billion people and not bat an eyelid.
This weekend is very special to me, because it just reminds me of Jesus, all that he did, all that his death meant to me, what I am free from because of his death and resurrection.
Hallelujah! Thank you lord for JESUS. He is the reason I am who I am today.
When I talk to people and try to help them, I am not at the top of the ladder looking down at them with disgust or whatever,I am at the bottom with you, trying to help you up from under. I am not oblivious to how you feel, I have been there. I know what it means to cry myself to sleep for no reason, I know what it means to contemplate suicide,i have been depressed, hurt and rejected. In fact, sometimes,i still have intense fights with these emotions.
I have been there before, I know how it feels and I just want to help. But I can’t help you without revealing to you the source of My Confidence; Jesus.
He makes the difference.
Want to meet him?
Lets talk in the comment section.
if you want more privacy, you can call, text, Whatsapp. the number is +2348099998430.
I gat you.
Let’s talk further in private. Slide in to my DM.