Dear Mum and Dad,

We agree that you really really love your kids but can you stop talking down on them? That’s not a sign of affection.

Several people born in our generation are living proofs of African parents and their assumption that strong words and name calling are a show of affection.

I beg to disagree!

When you should say encouraging and soothing words like; you are beautiful/handsome to your children, you’d rather say you are ugly.

When you should say I have confidence in you, I know you can do it, You’d  say other people are doing it and they do not have two heads.

You build competitive instincts in your children rather than teach them self-confidence.

When you should show love,you form hardman/woman.

You don’t want your kids to know that you care about them deeply.

I have one question for you. If you don’t care deeply for them, who will?

You are so harsh and violent, your children cannot approach you with their basic needs.

Your children can’t even tell you about their deepest regrets, shortcomings not to mention their encounters with sexual and emotional predators.

These Children grow up Scared and the cycle of building the opposite of a functional society is a continuous cycle. They grow up assuming that it’s wrong to express love and this leads to a dysfunctional society which is exactly what we have today.

They grow up assuming that it’s wrong to express love and this leads to a dysfunctional society which is exactly what we have today.

You suddenly wake up one morning and wonder why they are not close to you meanwhile you severed these ties yourself.

If you grew up with this experience, it’s to make a difference.

It’s not enough to talk about how you are going to raise your offsprings with different methods.

The question is how are you going to go about this?

What are you going to do?

Step into your parent’s oversize Shoes or Change the status quo?

A child is who he is based on how you build him.

Believe it or not, your offspring is your spitting image.

Build up your children,

love them by example,

teach them to be vulnerable by example.

Dear Mum and Dad,I know you love your children very much,i just hope they know you do.

Share with me, I’d love to hear from you.What’s your take on African parents and their weird behaviours?


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Uju is a writer, freelance blogger and content developer. She is passionate about helping you become the best you can be. She also loves to write, sing, hang out and meditate. If you need to talk or know someone who needs a listening ear, have them reach out to me on I am also open to content development and freelance writing opputunities. Join me on Facebook at Nwokedi Chinny Uju.


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