Five Lessons I learnt from Toke’s On becoming.



          Everyone has been going on and on about the release of Toke Makinwa’s must tell “on Becoming”. Well I had the opportunity to read the book and I must say it’s very interesting. One would think that she was recounting events from a movie but the truth is, this actually happened to her.

 There are three sides to every story, your side, my side and the truth. This is her own side, we don’t know what her ex’s story is so we will just go with the flow.

If you can, please get a copy for yourself. While you’re reading, read in-between the lines, learn from her mistakes, pick out red flags for your marriage or relationship and act as you should. No one ever graduates from the school of learning. Please learn something new.

I would love to point out a few things I think just anybody can take away from “On Becoming” by Toke Makinwa.

1. When life gives you lemons, don’t cry or complain. Simply make lemon juice. Forget about where you are coming from, focus on what you can do, your strengths, abilities, and the future. You have all you need to succeed. You have the final say.

2. Forget about what you see on social media, things are not always what they would have thought that she was happy. Well what’s your definition of happiness? You think everyone smiling and posing for the camera is happy? Most of those smiles are just plastic. No one should be your self-imposed yard stick. You are not on the same lane. Live your life and be happy. Forget about what others think. Shut out what you think you see on people’s faces, looks are very deceptive. Who would have thought?

                    ” Our travails are not worn on our faces,you don’t know my private battles.Until you do,Please don’t mock me.”

3. People are hurting, be careful how you treat others. Judging by her social status and the fact that she was a media personality, you would never believe that she was bottling up a lot. Don’t let designers’ suits, expensive cars, well-manicured nails and facial expressions deceive you. Be the salt of the earth, be nice to people, your action could make or mar what’s left of their life. Some other person in her shoes would have committed suicide. Thank God she had a relationship with God. You never know how far a smile can go.

4. Don’t be afraid to admit that you are hurting, its human nature to hurt. I assume that the issue with this is who to trust. If you cannot trust your friends, get help. Professionals are bound by a confidentiality agreement. If you still cannot deal with that, send me a mail ( I will be with you through out and still keep you anonymous. I will call you and text you every step of the way.

5. Develop a relationship with God. Man can only go to a certain extent, but God, he will love you unconditionally. He has a way of being there for more than 6 billion people at the same time and his relationship with you will not affect my relationship with him. Depend solely on him, he will keep you going.

Don’t laugh or say it serves her right, read in between the lines.



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Uju is a writer, freelance blogger and content developer. She is passionate about helping you become the best you can be. She also loves to write, sing, hang out and meditate. If you need to talk or know someone who needs a listening ear, have them reach out to me on I am also open to content development and freelance writing opputunities. Join me on Facebook at Nwokedi Chinny Uju.


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