“Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches…”



This is common knowledge.

This is why no one is allowed to judge anyone’s actions and motives irrespective of how much you do not support them until you walk in their shoes.

I usually don’t try to understand why people do what they do.I basically accept them, their decisions and patterns line hook and sinker.

Regardless, I have refused to understand why Victims of Domestic Violence stay in emotionally and physically  Abusive marriages.

I know that I am not permitted to judge except I am in the wearer’s shoes, but I don’t understand how DV (Domestic Violence)  victims stay in the ship despite the pain and trauma.

Your wife hits you with the frying pan or any metal she can lay her hands on without even considering what the impact could do to you.

You sustain physical, emotional and psychological injuries yet you still make excuses for her.

Your husband beats the living daylight out of you, doctors and prayer warriors collaborate to bring you back from the brims of hell and you still make excuses for him?

When are you going to learn?

How valuable is your life to you?

What about the members of your family whose hearts you’ll break when you check out before you officially have to?

What happened to self-love?

I thought you are supposed to love your neighbour as YOURSELF.

How come you love the enemy, yes the enemy more than you love you?

YOU should be first on the list, you come before everyone else, including the children you intend to protect with your presence in that union.

So If you are all for self-love, how come you believe his/her apologies and fake love tales?

Why do you enjoy the pain and trauma?

What excuse is excuse enough for your persistent stay in that abusive ship?

The Children?

Children who grow up in such unhealthy environments are more often than not traumatised and suffer from Post-traumatic disorders.

You would actually be doing these kids a favour by moving out of that environment.No child should grow up thinking that being abusive and a bully is the way to go.

Dear DV victim, love yourself enough to leave that marriage before his/her love for you sends you to an early grave.

Stop procrastinating, I understand you are afraid of the unknown. Remember, fear never made anybody great.

Take that first step, the rest will fall in place.

You are worth more than a zillion rupees, protect you so you can be strong for others.

interpret the handwriting on the wall, walk out with both legs while you still can.

You don’t want to make up the statistics of men and women who have lost their precious lives to Domestic Violence.

As difficult as it looks, it only requires a step in the right direction.

Just take that one step, The rest will fall into place.

Don’t say no one warned you because I just did.

Chinny Uju Nwokedi

PHOTO CREDIT: Pixabay.com

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Uju is a writer, freelance blogger and content developer. She is passionate about helping you become the best you can be. She also loves to write, sing, hang out and meditate. If you need to talk or know someone who needs a listening ear, have them reach out to me on uju@realitieswithuj.com. I am also open to content development and freelance writing opputunities. Join me on Facebook at Nwokedi Chinny Uju.


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